2013 wasn’t my banner year. Before the year ended, I was at a point of loss filled with so many tears. God brought me back to my knees when a certain event went against my favor. There were days when I wallowed in the sorrow it brought but not because of the result itself but certain consequences it came with it.
I knew that everything happens for a reason and God as a loving father allowed it to happen however when you’re wounded, you are in a very vulnerable position to hear all the lies of the enemy. This I am thankful for every person God has sent to remind me of my identity and my purpose. We really can’t make it in our spiritual walk alone, in our moments of weakness, we need to be surrounded with people who’ll remind us of the Truth. Writing my 2014 faith goals was also a challenge at first. I kept hearing the voices of how I’ve “performed” this year and if it were to be put on a scorecard, I guess I was just getting by. It was a revelation of grace and love that lead me to continuously hold on to His word and seek His face. The tears from the past few days were moments of repentance. I was like a child wanting to be comforted by her dad, wanting to sleep on his lap. I released all the pain, hurt, pride, fears, worries, anxieties, lies, and anything that comes from the enemy. I also asked God for answers on how I’ll be able to start 2014. I know I had a lot on my prayer list but I wanted to pray for the things He wanted for me so I prayed for wisdom. Here’s His response:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good understanding.
To him belongs eternal praise.– Psalm 111:10
It’s really about going back to Him. I am reminded to look at eternal perspectives in everything. It’s all about Him. When we put our trust on Him, we can be secured by whatever the future may bring. We can trust the one who holds it.
Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
7 They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
8 Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.– Psalm 112:6-8
Truly, it is challenging to worship when we are in dark places but let’s still choose to worship. I am grateful to my Lord and Savior for being faithful even when I wasn’t. He didn’t give up on me. He was patient and He still is. I’m not yet a point where my fire is blazing hot but I’ll get there. For now, I can hope that whatever season I’m in, I’m not alone. He is for me and not against me. He will never forsake me.
Thank you Jesus for 2013! I’ve met new people, reconnected with friends and family, been to new places, believed for greater things, cried good and bad tears, experienced being closer to You, etc. In everything, You were there. I love You!
I’m ready for 2014.